Keeping in line with "Holy Crap There's a Cat Toe-nail In My Eye" and "Vituperating Possums" comes "A Frozen Cheese Block Just Broke My Foot."

In the very strange everyday life of me, I'm convinced that I'm a magnet for the random. I like random things. It gives me much to write about and allows me to not take myself so seriously. But sometimes random things hurt. The cat nail in my eye hurt a lot. Being chased by a rabid possum hurt my pride. And having a frozen block of dairy product plummet, corner down, onto the top of my foot is quite excruciating.

It was like any other evening. I was getting ready for bed and I usually put a bottle of water into the freezer to get it nice and slushy before bed. So, I go and open the freezer like any other evening. I just didn't know that this evening, a piece of dairy would decide to attack my already ailing right foot (last night I stubbed 3 of my 5 toes on a leg of a wicker chair). With quite a vengeance, the BLOCK OF PAIN hurled itself from it's resting place and struck the top of my foot with it's corner. It was one of those pains where words really don't do anything justice. You just lean over and hyperventilate for a few moments. When breath finally does come back into your lungs, your only course of action is to throw the said BLOCK OF PAIN across the room and shout expletives such as: "SON OF A BISCUIT EATER!!" and "LINT LICKING LEMUR!!" Then you fall down and wimper, pull yourself up and use the frozen BLOCK OF PAIN as an ice pack.

I come to you now, foot raised and blue, contemplating how exactly I'm going to explain to my boss what happened when he asks why I'm limping.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007 | 10:30 PM | LINK |