So I've been MIA for a while. A lot has been going on...

The first: lightening ran in on my home computer and destroyed it. Yay nature.

The second: I've begun training for a half marathon in December. Yay sweat.

The third: Work. Work. Work. Yay Summer Blockbuster.

The fourth: I was almost completely blinded by a cat toenail, or should I say shard of excruciating horror. Yay...

The fourth I shall elaborate more clearly. You see I was preparing for the third and upon completion as I was getting into bed, my beloved Maximus placed his paw on my face. I realized that his claws were uncomfortably sharp and decided to clip away. As I began to trim the very last nail, something popped into my eye. My initial reaction was to reach up and rub my eye. WRONG reaction. After a few moments I realized that rubbing the eye would not remove the foreign object and I proceded to my bathroom (still calm) to try and flush out the eye with water. Five minutes and a slightly heightened sense of panic later, I realized that the "object" was not moving. My overactive imagination began to roll out scenarios of doom. Some potential outcomes were as follows: a)The toenail would work its way into my eye allowing the liquid of sight to begin to leak out leading to blindness. b)The toenail would work it's way into my eye and create a pressure buildup leading to explosion and obvious blindness. c)The toenail would create an infection that would leak to other parts of my body causing me to morph into a catlike hybrid. None of the above options were acceptable so I did what any other grown woman would do...I ran to my Daddy. After 15 minutes of attempted help, my da threatened to throw me over his shoulder and cart me to the emergency room. Upon hearing this, I believe that I entered into a full on conniption fit. The thought of someone having to touch my eyeball was too much to bear. So I locked myself in the bathroom and began to cry. I was going to go blind.

Actually, crying was the best thing I could have done because it dislodged the nail and it moved! Unfortunately, it moved it under the eyelid and with every blink I could feel it. Panic and tears once again at the thought of a scratched cornea...AND THEN one last look in the mirror. There it was, perched on my eyelashes. I would live to see another day. And I would live to type the story for you all.

So if any of you have any great ideas for stylish protective eyegear...please pass them on.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006 | 9:22 PM | LINK |