No weird dreams for me to post today. Just me.

I read this on Monday...

"I may not understand what Jesus Christ says, but it is dangerous to say that therefore He was mistaken in what He said. It is never right to think that my obedience to a word of God will bring dishonor to Jesus. The only thing that will bring dishonor is not obeying Him. To put my view of His honor in place of what He is plainly impelling me to do is never right, although it may arise from a real desire to prevent Him being put to open shame. I know when the proposition comes from God because of its quiet persistence: When I have to weigh the pros and cons, and doubt and debate come in, I am bringing an element that is not of God, and I come to the conclusion that the suggestion was not a right one. Many of us are loyal to our notions of Jesus Christ, but how many of us are loyal to Him? Loyalty to Jesus means I have to step out of where I do not see anything; loyalty to my notions means that I clear the ground first by my intelligence. Faith is not intelligent understanding, faith is deliberate commitment to a Person where I see no way.
"Are you debating whether to take a step in faith in Jesus or to wait until you can see how to do the thing yourself? Obey Him with glad reckless joy. When He says something and you begin to debate, it is because you have a conception of His honor which is not His honor. Are you loyal to Jesus or loyal to your notion of Him? Are you loyal to what He says, or are you trying to compromise with conceptions which never came from Him?"

-Oswald Chambers

So yeah, I'm trying to make one of the biggest decisions of my life right now. I'm debating. And I need your prayers.

Thursday, March 31, 2005 | 4:32 PM | LINK |

OK, kids, gather 'round. It's time for another story from Lanna's dream time. Once upon a time, there was a girl and her name was Lanna. She had very strange dreams. Well, one night she dreamed that she was going to a high school reunion of sorts. She found her way the gym where it was being held. And there was a gigantic cardboard construction of a firehouse surrounding the gym. "That's strange," she thought. Indeed, it was strange. But she entered anyway through the cardboard door to see who she would be reunited with. The people she saw were extremely unfamiliar to her. There was hardly a face that she recognized. She signed in her name and found out that she would be maintaining the "get to know each other sessions" for the first half of the evening. This meant that she would be assigning 2 people to each other and timing them for 10 minutes so that they could get to know each other. So she did and there was lots of food to eat and balloons and streamers everywhere. After a few hours someone came to relieve her of the position. The very tall lady that took her position said, "Now it's time for you to meet someone! Let's see...Table 5." So Lanna made her way to find table 5. On her way she passed many strange things. She passed a clown making balloon toys, a couple salsa dancing, but the strangest thing of all was a penguin that began to follow her around. She walked more quickly to find the proper table and a young gentleman turned to greet her. It seemed the man was Zach Braff. "Hmm, what's he doing in Anderson?" she thought. They began their conversation introducing themselves to one another. Just as Lanna was in the middle of her name, a bird dropping landed on her shoulder. Zach commented only with, "It’s the penguin, look, now we have matching stains." The two girls at the table next to them noticed Zach from Garden State and began to berate him with questions. He very quickly became agitated and asked Lanna to follow him and they would continue the conversation elsewhere. She followed him into a room. When she entered she looked around and it was completely covered in books. Every inch of the room was covered by shelves filled with books. Even on the ceiling. She felt as though she where in heaven. They began to talk about books and their favorite authors and then their time was up. She went to get punch and started talking to a co-worker who had also been invited to the reunion. They recapped how odd their experiences were, both finding the penguin most strange. And then she woke up. THE END.

I didn't eat anything strange before I went to bed. I didn't watch Garden State or Scrubs. I didn't watch a documentary on penguins. I didn't watch anything or read anything about high school reunions. It all came from the recesses of my mind...But what does it all mean? And why am I so strange?

Tuesday, March 29, 2005 | 11:53 AM | LINK |

"It's this reality. Like, oh, my god, I have to tell the maid to buy diapers and get the pool boy to walk the dog? Can't I just make out with Kevin all the time? Being married sucks." On her first impressions of being wed, Britney Spears.

Like, you totally, like made my entire week Brit!


Monday, March 28, 2005 | 8:21 AM | LINK |

Last Saturday we had the 2nd annual Crawfish Boil, brought to us by Uncle Barry (Heidi's Dad). This was my first experience with crawfish...I've learned that it's a skill to eat crawfish. And I'm not at all skilled in eating crawfish. But there will be other boils where I can hone my skills. I can't wait.


I'm one of those people who get embarrassed for other people. And yesterday on my way to work there was an old man waiting at a cross walk. His hands were wide in his pockets showing that his fly was completely unzipped. My face immediately became red and it felt as though it were me standing there with absolutely no clue. And the rest of the day I was obsessed with checking my jeans.

Thursday, March 24, 2005 | 11:02 AM | LINK |

Moods and new music.

For those "I just want to relax" feelings I'm listening to and falling in love (in a completely musical sort of way) with Amos Lee.
Arms of a Woman makes me hope that one day I might inspire a man to write a song.

Next for those "Raaahh!! I'm driving really fast" moments, I suggest that you try a little The Mars Volta. Fros and guitar never hurt anyone.

Now, on to something completely different. I discovered that people who chew really loudly get on my nerves. I went out to eat with my Da today and there were these people who were sitting at the table next to us who were eating some sort of crunchy food. And soon all I could hear was their loud teeth chomping and chomping and smacking at the food in their mouths. The more I tried to ignore it the more it annoyed me...actually it disgusted me. I think my nerves are just shot. That or I was just in a bad mood. I think I'm better now. I'm glad it's Friday and that tomorrow is Saturday. Saturday means that Uncle Barry is in town for the 2nd Annual Crawfish Boil at Heidi's place. Just to end confusions Uncle Barry is neither mine nor Heidi's Uncle. He's actually Heidi's Dad. And the man can cook up some good Louisiana eatin'. I can't wait.

Friday, March 18, 2005 | 1:34 PM | LINK |

I borrowed my parent's digital camera for the trip to Chicago. And I can tell you now for certain that there is nothing like an SLR...I'm not a digital photographer and I'll stick to my print film.

But because of the digital format I can describe to you in pictures the trip to Chicago. Our flight into Chicago was great...aside from the fact that I was sitting next to Napoleon Dynamite. Not so much in looks, but in cadence, dress, and in subject of discussion. I was fortunate(or something) enough to be separated from the rest of the group on the flight. From the moment I was seated, he insisted on conversation. Even as the flight entered into the half hour mark and I took out a book and my iPod...he would tap me to ask me another question about fantasy books and ninjas. Don't ask me the actual content...I've blocked it from memory. And I also submit that I believe that I have an invisible sign on my forehead that only the weirdos of the male species can read that says "APPLY HERE."

Finally, Lake Michigan called to me, signaling that the flight would be over soon.

We made our way to the hotel and then to check into the Children's Ministry conference at Willow Creek Community Church. And there really were willows every where and even a creek...clever naming on that one.

It's an awesome facility. So awesome you can get lost. Their stage design and lighting made me weak in the knees.

Wednesday we were in large sessions all day. We heard a few speakers, one of which was hilarious, but was offset by his numerous and incorrect uses of the "quote hand motion." Curse, my criticizing nature. Why can't I just enjoy things without over-analyzing? But thankfully the most I can remember about that day was the hot guy with the mohawk I saw on my way to the bookstore. God is good.

After that, we headed into the city for our only night downtown.

Hmm...I could have stood there all night. I almost did. But by that point my hands were starting to numb as well as my knee caps. Odd that my feet did not freeze. My knees seemed to decide that they weren't going to wait for the frostbite to work it's way up to them. Overachievers.

Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. at the Navy Pier was our restaurant of choice. Good food, great service and friendly waiters made for a great evening. Michael was then gracious enough to drive around town and slow at command for Pudge and I to take pictures out of the windows of our rental car. Who cares if people cursed our blatant tourism. Hooray for Michael!

The next day it snowed. We were in our individual sessions, which meant that I was at a different site than everyone else. So in my breaks I went outside to the courtyard and played in the snow by myself. I got many strange looks...not sure why. I mean, haven't they ever seen a 23 year-old woman make a snow angel by herself before? Ok, maybe not.

So when the group finally reunited we took to the snow as a group to do nothing else other than a snowball fight.

And then pose for pictures in the snow, because let's face it, we'll probably never see it snow that much in Anderson...ever.

Our last day, we thought we may be snowed in, but our plane simply soared through the clouds and I found myself not only seated by a passenger who had proper plane etiquette, but seeing what it looks like above snow clouds.

Sadly, I turned green about an hour into the flight. I felt like I had been cursed to ride the log flume ride at six flags in repetition for an hour...culminating in a crash onto the runway. It was the roughest flight/landing that I've experienced. Good thing Napoleon wasn't there to see the color rush from my face. Ah, but now I'm home. I'm home. I'm home and I've realized that sometimes our dreams and pride get in the way of God's plan for us and that sometimes God asks us to lay our Isaacs on the altar so He can allow us to see where our hearts are. And here I am. And somewhere in the past 4 days, God allowed me to see where my heart was. And he stripped it back to the basic. I love Him and He loves me. And He has called me to ministry. And to borrow a phrase from Phil that when I look at my future the only place I want to be is in the center of God's will. So what will I be doing 5 years from now? I don't know, but I pray, yearn, and strive that I be where God wants me to be. I don't want to assume what that looks like.

Saturday, March 12, 2005 | 9:05 PM | LINK |

I know, I know, it's been a while since I've updated. I've just been really busy at work. And the majority of stuff that has been on my heart is better suited for me to write by hand in my journal. I've been so exhausted lately. I haven't been getting enough sleep. I should stay home and rest, but to be honest I don't get any rest when I'm at home. So, I find things to do outside of my home, which in turn wears me out even more. I haven't been to the gym in two weeks, because the morning seems to be the only "me" time in the absolute quiet that I've been able to find. I just haven't wanted to sacrifice that.

But, I must say that this weekend was great. Friday, Jonny, Karl, Shua, and myself sat ourselves down to watch the extended edition of The Return of the King. 3.5 hours into the movie we found ourselves delirious and adding our own distorted (and I really mean distorted) commentary. Delirious not because of the length or lack of enjoyment, but out of exhaustion (at least that's what I'm claiming).

Saturday evening. Karl, Shua, Billy, and myself enjoyed a raucous dinner at Texas Roadhouse. Billy being the man who added extra oomph to Let's Get it Started yesterday morning. Let's see, I laughed continuously in spite of the wretched headache that I had. Yes, so hard that I wet myself (or so hard that I spilled a glass of water in my lap. Yes, I'm that freakin' spastic.). I love meeting people that you feel like you already know and can immediately joke with and pick fun at.

Sunday evening. Karl, Shua, Gizz, and myself enjoyed the incredible, now going into the list as one of my favorite movies right now Shaun of the Dead. I started watching the movie earlier in the week and found myself laughing alone in my room. I thought this is too much fun to watch alone. So, 3 days later, I watched it with my friends. British comedy rules me. Sneaky Monkey!

And right now, lunch is going to rule my tummy.

'Til next time!

Monday, March 07, 2005 | 12:04 PM | LINK |