So, apparently I forgot about the blog for 9 days. But I'm back now, so fear not. There were just more things on my mind than the blog world. I've been thinking a lot lately. And for those who know me, you know that this means major isolation and journaling.

I came to a point of absolute brokenness knowing how much I've prayed to be romanced by God and realizing how many flowers and letters he's been giving me in the form of ethereal days, breathtaking conversations, and beautiful people that up until now I had ignored as being pursuit from God.

It feels different now. I feel different.

As I was jogging this afternoon, the romance intensified. With each breathe I became more and more vulnerable. My lover was standing before me, breathing life from His mouth into me, giving me one more moment. I was so overwhelmed that I had to stop. I had never felt that way before in my life. The intimacy was flooring to me and I felt that I had no legs to stand on. It was like I could hear Him saying, "When you sing that I am the air you breathe and that you are desperate for me, I wanted you to feel what it was truly like. "

Emotions that I thought could only be aroused by a man, were now bringing me to my knees in worship to my God.

I don't understand it. I don't understand how I can be so lucky. And then I realize that I don't have to understand it. It's grace.

Thursday, November 18, 2004 | 4:37 PM | LINK |