I don't even know where to begin today. We're going to have to put my dog to sleep on Monday. I've cried to the point that my face is raw and I feel completely hollowed out. I told myself that I could handle this when it came. We've been knowing that her health has been deteriorating for the past year. I didn't think it would hit me this hard. She's 12 and that's pretty dang old for a large dog. And I know that a lot of you can't possibly understand where I'm coming from. You say, "she's just a dog" or "it's not like she's human." But honestly she feels like a part of me. As an only child she became my only playmate. We would spend hours outside running and playing and then come inside to take a nap on the bed. She was my soccer buddy. She was my foot warmer. She was my comfort when I would come home crying and would stare at me intensely as I recapped for her what had just happened. She was my protector and crying mate when things were rough at home. For 12 years she has been a totally constant part of my life and now Monday, I'm going to have to say goodbye. I've seen her grow from a tiny puppy,


to a beautiful companion and at times what I felt like was my only friend.



It almost doesn't seem fair that we can decide when her life will end. I can't hope that any of you will truly understand. You may laugh, mock, or cry along with me if you want. I never imagined it would be this hard. I never imagined seeing my Dad cry at the vet's office this morning. This is a man who I've only seen cry once in my entire life. Tell me that doesn't mean something. I'm going to take a break for a few days from the blog world. But never fear, I will return soon. Mark it down to another chapter of life.

Saturday, August 28, 2004 | 12:28 PM | LINK |